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I don't operate on smokers. i tell cigarette smokers that i can operate on you, i get paid the same. and you might even do well. but it's the wrong thing to do. so i refuse to operate on you until you stop smoking.
-Mehmet Oz
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I Don't Operate On Smokers. I Tell

Mehmet Oz
I don't operate on smokers. i tell cigarette smokers that i can operate on you, i get paid the same. and you might even do well. but it's the wrong thing to do. so i refuse to operate on you until you stop smoking.
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Cigarette Smoke Smoking Might

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Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. i love to smoke. smoking is fun. smoking is cool. smoking is, as far as i am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. it makes growing up genuinely worthwhile. i am quite well aware of the hazards of smoking. smoking is not a healthful pastime, it is true. smoking is indeed no bracing dip in the ocean, no strenuous series of calisthenics, no two laps around the reservoir. on the other hand, smoking has to its advantage the fact that is a quiet pursuit. smoking is, in effect a dignified sport.
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Unfortunately, once i did learn to smoke, i couldn't stop. i escalated to two packs a day very quickly, and stayed that way for about ten years. when i decided to stop, i adopted the method that my father had used when he quit. he would carry a cigarette in his shirt pocket, and every time he felt like smoking, he would pull out the cigarette and confront it: "who stronger? you? me?" always the answer was the same: "i stronger." back the cigarette would go, until the next craving. it worked for him, and it worked for me.
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In the name of christ, i refuse to be anti-gay. i refuse to be anti-feminist. i refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. i refuse to be anti-democrat. i refuse to be anti-secular humanism. i refuse to be anti-science. i refuse to be anti-life. in the name of christ, i quit christianity and being christian. amen.
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I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] eeww. you ever seen somebody do that? i've seen someone do that. let me tell you something — if you're smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] i'd think about quitting. and that's just me, ya know.
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