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I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between new york and l.a. i never do any of that.
-David Letterman
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I Don't Like Jokes About Sex Or

David Letterman
I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between new york and l.a. i never do any of that.
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Sex New York Drug Use

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New york is the thing that seduced me. new york is the thing that formed me. new york is the thing that deformed me. new york is the thing that perverted me. new york is the thing that converted me. and new york is the thing that i love too.
New York
I'll get rid of the drug problem. the first drug dealer will be publicly executed in front of everybody and all of the sudden the rest of the drug dealers are going to go "uh oh!" watch how fast the drug problem disappears. if you use drugs, you're addicted and you steal something, you'll get sent off to the outback and to work camps and all of the sudden no drug addicts. see how simple that is? so simple.
Simple Drug Watches
It's very difficult to have any faith in the sincerity of the slorc about stamping out drug production if they find it so easy to forgive a drug baron whom at one time they said they would never, never forgive and would never, never regard as anything but a drug runner. the slorc is far more aggressive in its attitude toward the national league for democracy than against drug traffickers.
Attitude League Drug
If i have one message to give to the secular american people, it's that the world is not divided into countries. the world is not divided between east and west. you are american, i am iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. the difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. and the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. and our governments are very much the same.
Country Government Differences
New york was always more expensive than any other place in the united states, but you could live in new york - and by new york, i mean manhattan. brooklyn was the borough of grandparents. we didn't live well. we lived in these horrible places. but you could live in new york. and you didn't have to think about money every second.
New York Mean Thinking
I learned all those jokes in second grade. second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.
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Inevitably, the flood of literary pornography loosed on us is dulling our reactions of surprise or shock. its writers are forced to raise the ante, to provide stronger and stronger stimulants. or try to provide them, since both the manner, the naming of parts and the few inexpressive four-letter words, and the matter, are narrowly limited.
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I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. i have taught myself languages because of you. i have made my body strong because i thought you might be pleased by a strong body. i have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. i have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. i have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. there has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids.
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