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I did not believe him capable of love. that is an emotion in which tenderness is an essential part, but strickland had no tenderness either for himself or for others; there is in love a sense of weakness, a desire to protect, an eagerness to do good and to give pleasure--if not unselfishness, at all events a selfishness which marvellously conceals itself; it has in it a certain diffidence.
-W. Somerset Maugham
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I Did Not Believe Him Capable Of

W. Somerset Maugham
I did not believe him capable of love. that is an emotion in which tenderness is an essential part, but strickland had no tenderness either for himself or for others; there is in love a sense of weakness, a desire to protect, an eagerness to do good and to give pleasure--if not unselfishness, at all events a selfishness which marvellously conceals itself; it has in it a certain diffidence.
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Believe Giving Desire

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If you asked twenty good men to-day what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, unselfishness. but if you asked almost any of the great christians of old he would have replied, love - you see what has happened? a negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. the negative ideal of unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point.
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It is pleasure that lurks in the practice of every one of your virtues. man performs actions because they are good for him, and when they are good for other people as well they are thought virtuous: if he finds pleasure in helping others he is benevolent; if he finds pleasure in working for society he is public-spirited; but it is for your private pleasure that you give twopence to a beggar as much as it is for my private pleasure that i drink another whiskey and soda. i, less of a humbug than you, neither applaud myself for my pleasure nor demand your admiration.
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To one degree or another we all struggle with selfishness. since it is so common, why worry about selfishness anyway? because selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion. no wonder the prophet joseph smith urged, "let every selfish feeling be not only buried, but annihilated" (teachings of the prophet joseph smith, p. 178). hence annihilation - not moderation - is the destination! . . . meekness is the real cure, for it does not merely mask selfishness but dissolves it!
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You will find as you grow older that the first thing needful to make the world a tolerable place to live in is to recognize the inevitable selfishness of humanity. you demand unselfishness from others, which is a preposterous claim that they should sacrifice their desires to yours. why should they? when you are reconciled to the fact that each is for himself in the world you will ask less from your fellows. they will not disappoint you, and you will look upon them more charitably. men seek but one thing in life -- their pleasure.
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We should not be discouraged or depressed by our shortcomings. no one is without weakness. as part of the divine plan, we are tested to see whether we master weakness or let weakness master us. proper diagnosis is essential to proper treatment. the lord gave us this remarkable assurance: "because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong" (ether 12:37). but wishing for strength won't make us strong. it takes faith and work to shore up a weakened cord of integrity.
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