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I did learn what i didn't know i wanted to know.
-William Least Heat-Moon
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I Did Learn What I Didn't Know

William Least Heat-Moon
I did learn what i didn't know i wanted to know.
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Wanted Knows

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Longing surged up within me. i wanted it. oh god, i wanted it. i didn't want to hear jerome chastise me for my "all lowlifes, all the time" seduction policy. i wanted to come home and tell someone about my day. i wanted to go out dancing on the weekends. i wanted to take vacations together. i wanted someone to hold me when i was upset, when the ups and downs of the world pushed me too far. i wanted someone to love.
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Changing things is not easy, and i say this without any irony. it is not that someone does not want to, but because it is a hard thing to do. take obama, a forward-thinking man, a liberal, a democrat. did he not pledge to shut down guantanamo before his election? but did he do it? no, he did not. and may i ask why not? did he not want to do it? he wanted to, i am sure he did, but it did not work out. he sincerely wanted to do it, but did not succeed, since it turned out to be very complicated.
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I can't say, over the miles, that i had learned what i had wanted to know because i hadn't known what i wanted to know. but i did learn what i didn't know i wanted to know.
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I wanted a metamorphosis, a change to fish, to leviathan, to destroyer. i wanted the earth to open up, to swallow everything in one engulfing yawn. i wanted to see the city buried fathoms deep in the bosom of the sea. i wanted to sit in a cave and read by candlelight. i wanted that eye extinguished so that i might have a chance to know my own body, my own desires. i wanted to be alone for a thousand years in order to reflect on what i had seen and heard - and in order to forget.
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Success is a learnable skill. you can learn to succeed at anything. if you want to be a great golfer, you can learn how to do it. if you want to be a great piano player, you can learn how to do it. if you want to be truly happy, you can learn how to do it. if you want to be rich, you can learn how to do it. it doesn't matter where you are right now. it doesn't matter where you're starting from. what matters is that you are willing to learn.
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You live, you learn, you love, you learn, you cry, you learn, you lose, you learn, you bleed, you learn, you scream, you learn
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