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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
-Phyllis Diller
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I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing

Phyllis Diller
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
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Yards Buried Housework

More From Phyllis Diller

I think there was something that made us not pay attention to climate change. something that was up there. there was a saying when we were trying to pay attention to the environment that people used this phrase nimby - not in my back yard. people were saying, ‘i don’t care, it is not in my back yard.’ but now it’s in everyone’s back yard.
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When something needs to be ironed i put it in the ironing basket. if a year goes by and the item is still in the basket i throw the item away. this is a good system since eventually i end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.
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In sardinia one summer my best friend marisa berenson and i ironed each other's hair. we used a hot laundry iron and took turns putting our hair on the ironing board, literally ironing it. that's a recipe for straightening that may be highly successful, but is definitely not recommended.
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A woman who spends all day washing and cooking and ironing doesn't want to go to the movies to watch a film about a woman who spends all day washing and cooking and ironing.
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All the time, i'm afraid the thing that happened that made it all right for my mother to kill my sister could happen again. i don't know what it is, i don't know who it is, but maybe there is something else terrible enough to make her do it again. i need to know what that thing might be, but i don't want to. whatever it is, it comes from outside this house, outside the yard, and it can come right on in the yard if it wants to. so i never leave this house and i watch over the yard, so it can't happen again and my mother won't have to kill me too.
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No church-yard is so handsom, that a man would desire straight to bee buried there. [no churchyard is so handsome that a man would desire straight to be buried there.]
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