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I always thought it was what i wanted: to be loved and admired. now i think perhaps i'd like to be known.
-Kristin Hannah
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I Always Thought It Was What I

Kristin Hannah
I always thought it was what i wanted: to be loved and admired. now i think perhaps i'd like to be known.
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Thinking Wanted To Be Loved Wanted

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In the nineteenth year and the eleventh month speak your tattered kaddish for all suicides: praise to life though it crumbled in like a tunnel on ones we knew and loved praise to life though its windows blew shut on the breathing-room of ones we knew and loved praise to life though ones we knew and loved loved it badly, too well, and not enough praise to life though it tightened like a knot on the hearts of ones we thought we knew loved us praise to life giving room and reason to ones we knew and loved who felt unpraisable. praise to them, how they loved it, when they could.
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I loved him in that moment, loved him more than i'd ever loved anyone, and i wanted to to tell them all that i was the snake in the grass, the monster in the lake. i wasn't worthy of this sacrifice; i was a liar, a cheat, a thief. and i would have told, except that a part of me was glad. glad that this would all be over with soon. baba would dismiss them, there would be some pain, but life would move on. i wanted that, to move on, to forget, to start with a clean slate. i wanted to be able to breathe again.
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