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And my only rule being if when i wake in the morning i'm looking forward to the things that i have to do that day, then i'm on the right track.

-Demetri Martin

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And My Only Rule Being If When

Demetri Martin

And my only rule being if when i wake in the morning i'm looking forward to the things that i have to do that day, then i'm on the right track.

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    <p style="font-size: 1.2rem; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 10px;">"and my only rule being if when i wake in the morning i&amp;#039;m looking forward to the things that i have to do that day, then i&amp;#039;m on the right track."</p>
    <footer style="font-size: 1rem; font-weight: bold;">— Demetri Martin</footer>
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Morning Track Looking Forward

More From Demetri Martin

Welcome to fight club. the first rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club. the second rule of fight club is: you do not talk about fight club! third rule of fight club: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. no shirt, no shoes, no weapons. seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. and the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at fight club, you have to fight.

Wake up, america. the insurance companies took over health care. wake up, america. the pharmaceutical companies took over drug pricing. wake up, america. the speculators took over wall street. wake up, america. they want to take your social security. wake up, america. multinational corporations took over our trade policies, factories are closing, good paying jobs lost. wake up, america. we went into iraq for oil.

Why i wake early hello, sun in my face. hello, you who made the morning and spread it over the fields and into the faces of the tulips and the nodding morning glories, and into the windows of, even, the miserable and the crotchety – best preacher that ever was, dear star, that just happens to be where you are in the universe to keep us from ever-darkness, to ease us with warm touching, to hold us in the great hands of light – good morning, good morning, good morning. watch, now, how i start the day in happiness, in kindness.

The voice of mr bush and the voice of mr blair can't decide who shall rule in zimbabwe, who shall rule in africa, who shall rule in asia, who shall rule in venezuela, who shall rule in iran, who shall rule in iraq.

I know he's been looking forward to this--and i know that i've been looking forward to this. but now i have to stop looking forward and start looking at where i am. it's hard.

One of the things that i love about being a writer is this. i wake up every day and i write for three hours. i wake up early. so like 6:00, 7:00 in the morning, i write till 9:00 or 10:00. i live in new york, nobody even is breathing until 9:00 or 10:00 in the morning. so, it's like my writing life is completely removed from the rest of my life.

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Usually when i sat down to draw a cartoon, it would be more of a reflection of things in my past. or it could be something i had experienced that morning, or that week, or something i might know that's part of my background.

Well i work up sunday morning, with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt, and the beer i had for breakfast wasn't bad, so i had one more for dessert. then i fumbled through my closet for my clothes, and found my cleanest dirty shirt. an' i shaved my face and combed my hair, an' stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

As soon as people realize that the majority of people in this country take drugs then the better off we'll all be. it's not like a scandalous sensation or anything like that... drugs is like getting up and having a cup of tea in the morning.

I could not wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that i could get out on the course again.

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