Wit Is Like Caviar - It Should

I Have Always Paid Income Tax. I Object Only When It Reaches A Stage When I Am Threatened With Having Nothing Left For My Old Age - Which Is Due To Start Next Tuesday Or Wednesday.

Hollywood Is A Place Where Some People Lie On The Beach And Look Up At The Stars, Whereas Other People Lie On The Stars And Look Down At The Beach.

Certain Women Should Be Struck Regularly, Like Gongs.

If He (peter O'toole) Had Been Any Prettier It Would Have Been Florence Of Arabia.

An Infant Prodigy Of Nine Is Shoved Upon The Stage In White. She Starts Off In A Dismal Whine About A Dark And Stormy Night, A Burglar, Whose Heart Is True, Despite His Wicked-looking Face, Who Puts The Little Child In Doom, To Save Her Mamma's Jewel Case. This May Bring Tears To Every Eye; It Does Not Set My Heart On Fire. I'd Like To Stand Serenely By And Watch That Horrid Child Expire.